Why do we need to get married?

Why do people make big deal about getting married?

Well I bet it is not just in Ethiopia, that right after you graduate, family, relatives, friends ask you 'when are you planning to wed.' They keep asking, till you send them the wedding invitation. My friend calls it the FAQ, the Frequently Asked Question. For some of us the FAQ is more frequent than others :) 

I was reading the Bible and I came across this chapter in 1 Cor 7, and it makes me wonder why Christians today make big deal of marriage while Paul puts it as an option. On 1 Cor 7:25 it says, 'Now regarding your question about the young women who are not yet married'... (are you reading this young women? Okay just making sure:) ...' it is best to remain as you are' and it goes on addressing men who are not married yet, 'if you do not have a wife do not seek to get married. But if you get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin.' Hum.... I bet Christians today would rather say, 'if a young men/ women get married, it is a big blessing!' :) Seriously it got me thinking, why did Paul simplify marriage and say, ' oh sure ya, if  you get married it is okay, it is not a sin.?' 

Paul right away answers why he has this stand. 'However those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems.' v.26 This was written during the time believers were persecuted because of their faith, so getting married could add up to their troubles, as they also worry for their marriage partner.

Then the next verse starts with a word 'But..' Opposing word to the aforementioned verse!

'But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters; the time that remains is very short. So from now on those with wives should not focus only on their marriage. Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away.' V.30 Paul is saying this world will soon pass away, the time that remains is short, and the end of the world is near so it is better not to get married. My question is,  aren't we living in a time so much closer to the second coming of Jesus and to the end if the world? So I believe this teaching is as applicable to us as it is to the believers Paul wrote this message to first hand!

The church today, basically teaches on the importance of marriage, on how one could serve God better if in marriage, on how one is more blessed if married ... teachings of remaining single is out of option, and is considered as even not being blessed.

So unlike the church in our time, Paul considers remaining single as a better life style, and that is because; 'I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities (marriage is earthly responsibility!) and how to please his wife. His interests are divided(between serving God and fulfilling his responsibility in marriage). In the same way a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.' V.32-35  

Whether we are in relationship or not, the Bible tells us that 'It is important to ask ourselves, if getting married helps us serve the Lord best.' It is interesting; Paul is referring to marriage as a distraction from  serving the Lord! 

Paul then address the man who has a fiancé saying, ' if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry.' V. 37 As Paul stressed on importance of remaining single, he puts a condition, 'if he can control his passion! What is the point for a person to remain single in order to serve God better, but fall in sin of fornication because he/ she cannot control his/ her passion? Paul also refers to this idea, on verse 8 ' So I say to those who aren't married and to widows it is better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It is better to marry than to burn with lust.' On verse 38 it also says, 'So the person who marries his fiancé does well and the person who doesn't marry does even better.'

It is funny, I guess Paul knows, reading this we could say, 'oh it is just Paul's idea, God's will is for us to be married.' This is probably why he ends his thought saying, 'I am giving you council from God's spirit when I say this' v.40 :)

Don't get me wrong! Don't get Paul wrong! :) There are over 500 Old and New Testament references to the words 'marriage,'' married,' 'husband,' 'wife.' Marriage is designed and instituted by God; 

'The Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him, '...and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh." Gen. 2:18, 21-24

As much as marriage is designed by God, it is not the only option; remaining single is even a better option!!!