Sunday, July 28, 2013

Let God be true
Everyone else a lier

When my heart tells me
'You can't...
You will never make it'
Let God be true
My heart- a lier
For I can do all things through Him
who gives me strength

When the voice tells me
'You are a sinner
You could never do right'
Let God be true
The voice- a lier
For I am already made righteous
Not by my doing but by faith

When I feel
Unloved
            Unrighteousness
           Weak & stupid
Let God be true
My feelings- a lier
For I am-
       Beloved
         Righteous
               Strong & wise

Through it all
Let God always be true
For His love is true
For His word is true
Amen!!!

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Daddy's little girl




Haven't changed my diapers for a while
Feeling dirty, I can smell my self
People with disgust, run from me

But my daddy runs to me
He still wants to hug and kiss me 
I was ashamed that I wet my diapers again & again
People say, shame on you big girl! Still wearing diaper
But when they turn around
I saw they ruined their elegant clothes

Daddy said you are 'Daddy's little girl
Come as you are
I love who you are, not what you do'
But I ran from him
I ran...

I found other kids playing in the mud
They laugh, dance and jump
slipped again and again in the mud
They invited me in
I played till I am clothed fully in mud
I played till I got weary of all the fun.

I miss home I want to be cleansed again
I saw my daddy run to me
He reached out to me
But I rejected him
I said, 'I don't deserve your love daddy!'

But He put me on his lap
He didn't mind his white clean garment
He caresses me, close to his heart
I rest my head on his shoulder
Daddy whispers to my ears 
'It is not what you do; it is who you are,
I love you, you are always daddy's little girl!

But I still hear the other voices, 
Shame!! Shame on you!!

But Daddy's whisper is always louder,
'I love you! You are always Daddy's little girl!'

I am not a little girl
But I am God's BELOVED little girl!!!

Monday, July 22, 2013

ግብረሰዶማዊነት

ግብረሰዶማዊነት 
ለምን ?
የሰው ባህሪ በተፈጥሮ እና በአካባቢው ይቀረፃል :: በሕይወታችን የሚያጋጥሙን የተለያዩ ሁኔታዎችም ባህሪያችን በአካባቢያችን እንዲቀረስ ያደርጋሉ፡፡ ለምሳሌ የመጠጣት እና የመስከር ልምድ ያለው ሰው ለዚህ ባህሪው ምክንያት የሆኑ የቤተሰብ ወይም የአካባቢ ተፅዕኖዎች ይኖሩበታል::  ሆኖም ግን ይህ ሰው መጠጣት መፈለጉ ሳይሆን ጠጥቶ መስከሩ ኃጢያት ይሆንበታል:: እንዲሁም ሰዎች ግብረሰዶማዊ እንዲሆኑ የተለያዩ ምክንያቶች አስተዋጾ ያደርጋሉ::  እነዚህም ሰዎች ለተመሳሳይ ፆታ መሳባቸው ሳይሆን በፍላጎታቸው ምላሽ መስጠታቸው ግብረሰዶማዊ ይደርጋቸዋል::

ለግብረሰዶማዊነት ይህ ነው የሚባል መነሻ ባይኖርም የተለያዩ ሰዎች ወይም ምሁራን ለግብረሰዶማዊነት እንደመነሻ የተለያየ ምክንያቶችን ያስቀምጣሉ:: ግብረሰዶማዊነትም በተፈጥሮ በመወለድ የሚመጣ ነው ወይስ የምንማረው ባህሪ ነው የሚለው ብዙ ምሁራኖችን ሲያከራክር ቆይትዋል:: የግብረሰዶማዊነት መብት ተከራካሪዎችም ግብረሰዶማዊነት በተፈጥሮ የሚመጣ የማይለወጥ ባህሪ ነው ይላሉ:: ይሄም አመለካከት ያላቸው ሰዎች ’ኢሰንሻይሊስት’ ይባላሉ::  ባንፃሩ ደግሞ የስነልቦና ባለሙያዎች  ግብረሰዶማዊነት በግለሰብ ምርጫ የማይመጣ ይልቅስ የምንማረው ባህሪ እንደሆነ ይገልፃሉ፡፡

ሰዎች በተለያየ ምክንያት ግብረሰዶማዊ ለመሆን ቢገፋፋሉም  ማንም ህፃን ግብረሰዶማዊ ሆኖ እንዳልተወለደ እና ግብረሰዶማዊነት በተፈጥሮ የሚመጣ እንዳልሆነ መፅሀፍ ቅዱስ ይነግረናል:: ይህ ማለት ግን ግብረሰዶማዊ ለመሆን ሁሉም ግብረሰዶማዊያን መርጥዋል ማለት አይደለም::

 መፅሐፍ ቅዱስ እግዚአብሔር ሰውን ወንድ እና ሴት እድርጎ እንደፈጠረ ይናገራል (ዘፍ 1):: ትዳርም አንድ ወንድ እና አንዲት ሴት በቃል ኪዳን እና በፆታዊ ግንኙነት አንድ የሚሆኑበት ተቋም ነው (ማቴ 19: 4-6):: መፅሐፍ ቅዱስ ግብረሰዶማዊነትን ከተፈጥሮ ባህሪ ውጪ የሆነ  አሳፋሪ የእግዚሐብሔርን ሀሳብ የሚቃረን ኃጢያት እንደሆነ ይገልፃል (ዘሌ 18 :22 1 ዘዳ 23: 15 ሮሜ 1: 21- 31 ጢሞ 1: 10 ያቆ 1)  ከአዳም እና ሔዋን የኃጢአት ውድቀት በኋላ ሁሉም የሰው ዘር ከውድቀት ስር ነው:: ግብረሰዶማዊነትም የሰው ዘር በሙሉ ያለበት የሀጢያት ባህሪ አንዱ መገለጫ ነው:: ከአዳም ውድቀት በኋላ የአግዚአብሔር ፍፅም ፍጥረት ተመርዝዋል:: የሀጢአትም ዘር በስጋችን በመንፈሳችን በስሜታችን በአስተሳሰባችን ፀርስዋል::

አንዳንድ ግብረሰዶማዊያን እግዚአብሔር እንደዚህ አድርጎ እንደፈጠራቸው ያምናሉ ሆኖም ግን በመፅሐፍ ቅዱስ ውስጥ ይህን ሀሳብ የሚደግፍ ቃል የለም:: አንድ ባህሪ በተፈጥሮ የመጣ ለማለት ከእግዚአብሔር የፍጥረት አላማ እና ስርዓት ጋር የተቆራኘ ሊሆን ይገባዋል እንጂ ከስጋዊ ፍላጎት እና ስሜት ጋር መገናኘቱ ተፈጥሮአዊ አያደርገውም:: “ሴቶቻቸውም እንኳ ለባህሪያቸው የሚገባውን ግንኙነት ባህሪያችው ላልሆነ ግንኙነት ለወጡ እንደዚሁም ወንዶች ለባህሪይቸው የሚገባውን ሴቶችን መገናኝት ትተው እርስ በእርሳቸው በፍትወት ተቃጠሉ ወንዶች ከወንዶች ጋር ነውር ፈፀሙ ለክፉ አድራጎታቸውም የሚገባቸውን ቅጣት በገዛ ራሳቸው ላይ አመጡ” ሮሜ 1፡27

 በአብዛኛው ኢትዮጲያውያን ግብረሰዶማዊነት የኢትዮጽያን ባህል ሀይማኖት እና ትውፊት የሚቃረን ተግባር እንደሆነ ይገልጻሉ:: በአብዛኛው ግብረሰዶማዊነት ከምዕራብያውያን ጋር በተያያዥነት ቢጠቀስም በኢትዮጲያ ውስጥ የተደረገ ጥናት  ያሳተፋቸው ግብረሰዶማዊያን በአብዛኛው የመጀመሪያ የወሲብ ልምምዳቸውን ከኢትዮጽያውያን ጎደኞቻቸው ዘመዶቻቸው እና አስተማሪዎቻቸው ጋር እንደሆነ ይገልፃል (Getnet Tadele (PhD) Under the Cloak of Secrecy: Sexuality and HIV/AIDS among Men who have sex with men (MSM) in Addis Ababa) ግብረሰዶማዊነት በማህበረሰቡ የሚነቀፍና ለመነጋገርም ከባድ የሆነ ርዕስ ነው:: ይህም በማህበረተሰቡ ውስጥ የኃጢአት ተግባር ከመባሉም ባሻገር በሀገሪቱ ሕገመንግስት ፔናል ኮድ 1957 አንቀፅ 600 በእስራት የሚያስቀጣ ሕገወጥ ተግባር ተደረጎ ተጠቅፆል:: በ1997 የታደሰውም የወንጀለኛ መቅጫ ሕግ ግብረሰዶሚያዊነትን ወንጀል አድርጎ ያስቀምጠዋል::

ጤናማ ያልሆነ አስተዳደግ ወይም ከቤተሰብ ጋር ያለ ግንኙነት ሌላው ለግብረሰዶማዊነት ተጠቃሽ መንስሄ ነው:: ለምሳሌ በአብዛኛው ለግብረሰዶማዊ ባህሪ ያላቸው ሰዎች ከተመሳሳይ ጾታ ካለው የቤተሰብ አባል ጋር መልካም ያልሆነ ግንኙነት ያላቸው እንደሆኑ ጥናቶች ያሳያሉ:: እንዲሁም በኢትዮጽያ ጨምሮ በተለያዩ ሀገራት የተደረጉ ጥናቶች በልጅነት የሚደርስ ጾታዊ ጥቃት ለግብረሰዶማዊነት ሊያጋልጥ እንደሚችል ያሳያሉ::  ከላይ የተጠቀሰውም ጥናት ከ11 በልጅነታቸው ጥቃት ከደረሰባቸው ሰዎች 5ቱ ግብረሰዶማዊ እንደሆኑ ያሳያል::  ሰው ነፃ ፈቃድ ያለው ፍጥረት እንደመሆኑ በሕይወታችን ላይ ለሚያጋጥሙንን መልካም ሆነ መጥፎ አጋጣሚዎችን ተከትሎ የሚመጣ መልካም ሆነ ክፉ ተፅዕኖ የእኛ ምርጫ ትልቅ አስተዋፆ ያደርጋል::
እንዲሁም  ግብረሰዶማዊነት በተለያዪ ተጨማሪ ምክንያቶች ሊከሰት ይችላል፡፡ ልጆችም ለአቅመ አዳም /ሔዋን ሲደርሱ  (በአፍላነት እድሜ) ወንዶች ከወንዶች ጋር ሴቶች ከሴቶች ጋር አዳዲስ ነገሮች መሞከራቸው ያልተለመደ ነገር አይደለም::
ለተመሳሳይ ጾታ መሳብ የሚሰማቸውም ሰዎች ራሳቸውን  ከሌላው ሰው የተለዮ እንደሆኑ ከልጅነታቸው ማሰብ ይጀምራሉ:: ለግብረሰዶማዊነትም የሚያጋልጣቸው ባህሪም በልጅነታቸው ይታይባቸዋል:: ከአነዚህም ባህሪያት ለምሳሌ በተለምዶ ሴታሴትነት የምንለው ይኸውም በአይንና በእጅ መካከል ያለ ደካማ ቅንብር በእስፖርታዊ እንቅስቃሴ ላይ ደካማ እንዲሆኑ ያደርጋቸዋል፤፡ ይህም ከጎደኞቻቸው እና በእኩኞቻቸው ዘንድ የሚያስከትለው ፌዝ አና ትችት የበለጠ ግብረሰዶሚያዊ እንደሆኑ እንዲያስቡ ያደርጋቸዋል፡፡

ከግብረሰዶማዊነት ሕይወት መውጣት ይቻላል!
እንዴት?
1 ባህሪው ትክክል እንዳልሆነ ማመን
ግብረሰዶማዊ ሰዎች ባህሪውን በመለማመድ የሚያገኙትን የአጭር ጊዜ የደስታ እና የእርካታ ስሜት  ግብረሰዶማዊ ለመሆናቸው ምክንያት አድርገው ይወስዱታል:: ሆኖም ግን የማንኛውም ሰው ሰውነት በዚህ ባህሪ ውስጥ ላለ ተግባር የደስታ እና የእርካታ ምላሽ እንዲሰጥ ተደረጎ የተፈጠረ ነው:: ይህ ስሜት ግን የግብረሰዶማዊነት ማረጋገጫ አይደለም:: ስጋዊ ሰውነት ከሚሰጠው ምላሽ በአንፃሩ  በሕሊና የግራ መጋባት እና ኃፍረት እና የከፋ ፀፀት ሊሰማ ይችላል:: ይህም ስሜት ትክክል ላልሆነ ተግባር ትክክል የሆነ ምላሽ ነው::

2 ከእግዚአብሔር ጋር ያለንን ግንኙነት በማሳደግ
ከግብረሰዶማዊነት ሕይወት  ለመውጣት  መጀመሪያ ሙሉ ፈቃደኝነት ይጠይቃል፡፡ ከዚህም በኋላ ከልብ በሆነ ንስሃ ወደ እግዚአብሔር መቅረብ ያስፈልጋል፡፡ “ኃጢአታችንን ብንናዘዝ ከኃጢአታችን ሊያነፃን ከበደላችንም ይቅር ሊለን የታመነ ነው፡፡” 1 ዮሐ 1፡9 እንዲሁም በዘላቂነት ከእግዚአብሔር ጋር ቅርብ ግንኙነት ማዳበር እና በእርሱም ላይ በመታመን  አስፈላጊ ነው፡፡  ይህን ባህሪ ለማቆም ስጋን ማሽነፍ ትልቅ የሆነ ራስን መግዛት ይጠይቃል፡፡ ራሳችንን በመግዛት ሂደት ለእግዚአብሔር አርዳታ እራሳችንን አሳልፈን መስጠጥ አስፈላጊ ቢሆንም የራሳችንንም አስተዋፆ መዘንጋት የለብንም::  ለዚህ ባህሪ የሚያጋልጡ ለምሳሌ የሚድያ ውጤቶች፤ ፊልሞች እና ኢንተርኔት ከመጠቀም መቆጠብ ያስፈልጋል፡፡

3 መጽሐፍ ቅዱስ ስለእኛ የሚለውን ማወቅ
በመጽሐፍ ቅዱስ ወደተጠቀሰችው የአንደኛው ክፍለዘመን ቤተክርስትያን ዞር ብለን ስንቃኝ ጳውሎስ “ አንዳዶቻችሁ በዚህ ዓይነት ሕይወት ነበራችሁ” 1ቆሮ 6 11 አያለ ግብረሰዶማዊ ለነበሩት ለቆሮንቶስ ቤተክርስትያን አባላት ሲናገር እናያለን:: በመቀጠልም “አሁን ግን በጌታ በኢየሱስ ክርስቶስ ስምና በአምላካችን መንፈስ ታጥባችዋል ተቀድሳችኋል ፀድቃችኋል” ይላችዋል::
ሰዎች የሀሰትን ገንዘብ ለመለየት የእውነተኛውን ገንዘብ ልዮ ባህሪያት እንደሚያጠኑት ሁሉ በግብረሰዶማዊነት ሕይወት ውስጥ ያሉ ሰዎችም አይምሮአቸውን በእግዚአብሔር ቃል በማደስ፤ እውነተኛ ማንነታቸውንም ለይቶ በማወቅ የእግዚሐብሔር ልጅነትን ሕይወት መለማመድ ይችላሉ፡፡

4 አመለካከትን መለወጥ
ከግብረሰዶማዊነት ሕይወት ለመላቀቅ በሚደረግ ጥረት ውስጥ ዋናው የጦርሜዳ አይምሮአችን ነው:: በአይምሮአችንም ውስጥ እንደቴፕ የሚያጠነጥነውን የሰይጣንን እና የሕሊናችንን የውሸት ድምጽ ለይተን ማወቅ ይኖርብናል:: እነዚህንም ውሸቶች በመለየት በእውነት መተካት አለብን:: ይህም ማለት “መቼም መለወጥ አልችልም” የሚለውን ሃሳብ “በክርስቶስ ሁሉን ማድረግ እችላለሁ” (ፊሊ 4፡3) መተካት ማለት ነው::
5  ለውጥ ቀላል ሂደት እንዳልሆነ እንመን
ለውጥ ቀላል ሂደት አይደለም ምክንያቱም የሚለወጠው አንድን ባህሪ ብቻ ሳይሆን የህይወታችንን መስመሮች ሲቃኙ የነበሩ ብዙ ሃሳቦችን፤ ባህሪዎችን እንዲሁም ሰዎችን ነው:: በለውጥ ሂደት በመጀመሪያ ለመለወጥ ሙሉ ፈቃደኝነትን ይጠይቃል::  በመቀጠልም ስለራሳችን ያለንን የ “ይሄ ባህሪዬ ነው ማንነቴ ነው” የሚል አመለካከትን መለወጥ ያስፈልጋል::
በዚህ ሂደት ውስጥ ራሳችንን አናደርግም ብለን ከወሰነው ውሳኔ ማድረግ ተስኖን ብዙ የመውደቅና የመነሳት ሂደት ውስጥ ልናልፍ እንችላለን:: በምናልፍበት ሁኔታ ውስጥ ሁሉ ግን  ስሜታችንን ሀሳባችንን ሁሉ ለእግዚአብሔር በመንገር አብሮን እንዲሆን ክፍተት ልንሰጠው ይገባል::

በለውጥ ሂደት ውስጥ ብዙዎች ተስፋ በመቁረጥ ወደ ቀድሞ ሕይወታቸው ይመለሳሉ :: አንዳዶች ብዙ ይፀልያሉ አብዝተው መፅሀፍ ቅዱስ ያነባሉ:: የሚችሉትን ሁሉ በማድረግ ከአንዳንድ ባህሪዎች ራሳቸውን ለማላቀቅ ይሞክራሉ:: ነገር ግን አንዳንድ ጊዜ ፀሎታቸው ትክክለኛ ያልሆነን አቅጣጫ የያዘ ነው  “ እግዚአብሔር ሆይ ለውጠኝ! ይህን ፍላጎት ከውስጤ አውጣ! ተቃራኒ ጾታ የሆነን ሰው መውደድ እንድጀምር እርዳኝ!” የመሳሰሉት ፀሎቶች ጥሩ ሆነው ሳለ በራሳቸው አመርቂ የሆነ ውጤት ማምጣጥ ግን አይችሉም:: ለምሳሌ  አረምን ወደአግዚአብሔር በመጮህ ወይም ደግሞ ላይ ላዮን በመቁረጥ ልናስወግደው አንችልም:: ይህን አረም ከስሩ ካልቆረጥነው መልሶ መላልሶ ያድጋል:: እንዲሁም የግብረሰዶማዊነት ሕይወት ዋና ምንጩ ተፈጥሮ ወይም ምርጫ ሳይሆን ባለፈው ህይወታችን ውስጥ ለአጋጥሙን ጉዳቶች ሕመማችንን  ለማከም ስንሞክር የምንሰጠው ትክክለኛ ያልሆነ ምላሽ ነው:: እውነተኛ ለውጥ የሚመጣው  ሙሉ በሙሉ ለእግዚሐብሔር በመገዛት እና በሕይወታችን የተጎዳንባቸውን ቦታዎች ለእርሱ እንዲፈውሳችው በመፍቀድ ነው:: ይህም ማለት ባለፈው ሕይወታችን ያሉ ሕመሞችን በመጋፈጥ ለእግዚአብሔር ፈውስ አሳልፎ መስጠት ነው::

6. መልካም ግንኙነቶችን ማዳበር
ግብረሰዶማዊነት መልካም ያልሆነ ግንኙነት ባለበት ቤተሰብ ወይም አካባቢ ከማደግ ሊከሰት አንደሚችል ሁሉ በመልካም ግንኙነት ሊፈወስ ይችላል::  በዚህም ምክንያት በዚህ ሕይወት ውስጥ ያሉ ሰዎች ጤናማ እና እግዚአብሔርን መፍራት ያለበትን ግንኙነት እንዲያዳብሩ በቤተክርስትያን መታቀፍ ጠቃሚ ነው:: ሆኖም ቤተክርስትያን መምጣት ብቻውን ለባህሪ ለውጥ ያለው አስተዋፆ በጣም አነስተኛ ሊሆን ስለሚችል በቤተክርስትያን ውስጥ ለሚገኝ ‘ሜንተር’ ሊሆን ለሚችል እና ለሚያምኑት ሰው ሙሉ በሙሉ ግልፅ የሚሆኑበትን ግንኙነት ማዳበር በጣም አስፈላጊ ነው፡፡

ማጠቃለያ

እንግዲህ በግብረሰዶማዊነት ሕይወት ውስጥ ላለ ከዚህም ሕይወት ለመውጣት ፍላጎት ላለው ሰው የዚህ ፁኅፍ ማጠቃለያው መልዕክት እንዲህ ነው፡፡


አንተ/ አንቺ በእግዚሐብሔር ሀምሳል፤ ለእግዚሐብሄር ክብር መገለጫ ውብ እና ድንቅ ሆነህ/ሽ የተፈጠርክ/ሽ ሰው ነህ/ሽ (ሮሜ 11፡36 መዝ 139:14) :: የሚያስፈልግህ/ሽ እግዚሐብሄር ብቻ ነው፤ እርሱ መልካም እና ጠቢብ (መዝ 145፡9) ፤ደግ እና ታጋሽ (2ጴጥ3፡9)  ፃድቅ እና ታማኝ (መዝ 33፡4) አዳኝ (ያቆ 1፤25) አምላክ ነው፡፡

ምናልባት ከአባት ወይንም ከአባትነት ቦታ ካለው ሰው ከደረሰብህ/ሽ ጥቃት የተነሳ የእግዚሐብሔርን አባትነት እና ፍቅር ለመቀበል ትቸገራለህ/ትቸገሪያለሽ:: ምናልባት ደግሞ ስርሄት የሌለው ሀጢያት አነደፈጸምክ/ሽ እና የገሀነምንም ዕጣ ማለፍ እንደማትችል/ይ ታስባለህ/ታስቢያለሽ::  ምናልባት ደግሞ በማንአለብኝነት ህይወትህን/ሽን የስጋዊ ፍላጎትህን/ሽን ለማርካት ብቻ ትኖራለህ/ትኖሪያለሽ፡፡

በማናቸውም ሁኔታ ውስጥ ብትሆን/ኝ እግዚሐብሄር  ግብረሰዶማዊ የሆነውን ሰው አይነቅፍም የግብረሰዶማዊነትን ባህሪ እና ድርጊት እንጂ (ዘሌ 18: 22-23 ሮሜ 1: 26- 27  1 ቆሮ 6: 9- 11)፡፡ እግዚሐብሔር  ከማይነጥፍ የእውነተኛ የአባትነት ፍቅሩ ሊያካፍልህ/ሽ እና ሕመምህን/ሽን ሊያክም ኃጢያትህን/ሽን ይቅር ሊል ሁሌ እጆቹን ወደ አንተ/አንቺ ዘርግቶ ይጠብቅሃል/ሻል:: እግዚሐብሔር አምላክህ/ሽ ብቻ ሳይሆን አባትህ/ሽ ጓደኛህ/ሽ አፍቃሪህ/ሽ መሆን ይፈልጋል፡፡ የምትፈልገው/ጊው ዘላቂ እና አውነተኛ ፍቅርን ከሆነ ከእግዚሐብሔር ውጭ ይህን ፍቅር መፈለግ ነፋስን እንደመከተል ነው፡፡ በእግዚሐብሔር ዘንድ ብቻ የደስታ የሰላም የፍቅር ሙላት አለና ወደ እርሱ ቅረብ/ቢ፤ ወደ እርሱ ሽሽ/ሺ፡፡
ምርጫው ያንተ/ ያንቺ ነው!

Recommended reading: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/same-sex-attraction-and-the-wait-for-change

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Mindset of Africa


Africa is often referred as a broken, devastated continent. Researches, books and reports always enlist reasons causing the devastation of the continent. In order to solve problems that affect Africa, it is important to understand the roots of the problems. However, I believe that much time has been wasted in studying and investing on what seems to be the roots of Africa’s problems such as: colonization, lack of democracy, bad governance, corruption, human rights violations, ethnic tensions, war, famine, drought, diseases, infant mortality, among others. I believe these are mere manifestations, and not the roots of Africa’s problems.

In this article, I assess the mindset of Africans as a root problem for the continent.  When I say Africa’s mindset, I refer to mental attitudes of the majority of Africans that determine response to situations; which can be changed to serve individual needs and the continent as a whole. I believe the key to political, social, economic and cultural transformation lies in the transformation of the mindset of the people. “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he,” says the Bible.  I believe what is true for an individual is also true for a nation. A nation can have a common mindset that determines realities.

Common problems in Africa like, dictatorship, less democratization and corruption begin in the individual’s mindset before becoming a problem for a country, and then the wider continent. A better strategy should encourage tackling such issues while still in the mind. However, in Africa most wait till the ideas manifest and affect not just a few countries but almost the whole continent.

According to the International Monetary Fund's (IMF) World Economic Outlook, published in October 2012, 11 of the world's 20 fastest growing economies are in Africa. The leading cause that is said to contribute to Africa’s development is resource exploration. Africa has always been rich with resources. If Africa has failed to use resources for the past hundred years, but then now that resources are extracted and put into use, credit shall not be given to these resources that have always been present but rather, for the people that engage in the extraction and employ proper utilization. I was not able to identify any studies done on the mindset of African’s related to its impact on the development of the continent. However, I will share my opinion on how mindsets in Africa affect the continent’s development.

There are two kinds of mindset: fixed and growth mindset. In a fixed mindset, people believe that basic qualities like intelligence or talent are simply fixed traits. Such people spend documenting entire lifetime intelligence or talent instead of focusing on developing such traits. They also believe that talent alone can create success, without effort.  On the other hand, in growth mindset people believe their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication, learning and hard work; intelligence, skill and talent are just the starting point.

For a vast continent like Africa, it is impossible to conclude citizens generally have growth or fixed mindset. Though Africa is a continent of people with growth mindset like Nelson Mandela (a South African anti-apartheid revolutionary and politician who served as President of South Africa), Desmond Tutu (a South African social rights activist) , Kofi Annan (a Ghanaian diplomat who served as the seventh Secretary-General of the United Nations, Wangari Maathai (a Kenyan environmental and political activist), Emmanuel Yeboah (born in Ghana with a severely deformed right leg and achieved to be an athlete and activist to the plight of the disabled), and many more, it is also true that the continent is land to people of fixed mindsets. In this article I only assess the fixed mindset in Africa based on personal experiences and overall observation of other Africans. 

People with fixed mindsets say, ‘we  will always live in poverty,’ ‘things will never get better in Africa,’ ‘we will never grow,’ ‘we will never be able to use our resources,’ ‘we can’t avoid war and disputes,’ and so forth. Such people often do what they are naturally good at. For people with fixed mindsets, it is difficult attempt new engagements. People with fixed mindsets adopt non-changing skill for fear of risks, mistakes, image consciousness, and general difficulty to try new things. In a recent personal encounter, I visited the national museum of Ethiopia. One of the items in display at the museum is the ard, a primitive ox-drawn plough. The ard has been the only tool known to almost all Ethiopian farmers for tilling land for thousands of years. Poverty is often cited as an excuse for these farmers to use ard for thousands of years. Is it not that poverty itself a mindset that has a potential to keep people in bondage of fear for a change, for trying new things and taking risks?
I believe most of us have found ourselves in a conversation with ordinary people where the discussion aggravates with opinions like; “this is who we are,” “Why should I be concerned? I won’t change anything,” “I can’t get my life better unless I start all over somewhere in Europe or the United States” “there is no option for peaceful election processes in Africa,” “what is there to do?” “Africans’ always fight; it is in our blood” and so on.” Lately, I read news that Ethiopia discovered commercial reserves of crude oil; I shared the news with friends, colleagues and family. Though they are happy with this news, there is always a ‘what if’ to their opinions. ‘What if we go to war over the oil like other African countries?’ ‘What if leaders go corrupt because of this?’ Poverty mindset primarily gives reasons to why things do not work out and how things could go wrong. 


Disputes have actually been largely part of African history.  These disputes are often said to result from resources like oil and minerals, culture, ethnic nationalism and religion. However disputes, wars and conflicts primarily originate from the mindset of citizens. I believe tribal mindset is a fixed mindset prevailing throughout Africa, and a reason behind many disputes and conflicts in the continent. We live in a continent where politicians use tribe issues as a vote earning point. Kenya, Rwanda, Ivory Coast are some of the many African countries with such incidents. It is also common that if a president or a prime minister is voted from a certain tribe, the people from that tribe automatically assume they're superior to the rest of the people of the country. 

For a continent, that is the origin of ‘Ubuntu’ philosophy, ‘I am who I am because of who we all are,’ tribal mindset is extremely unfitting. The mindset of citizens that thought of tribal differences had the same potential to think of commonalities. The mindset of citizens that thought of disputes actually had the same potential to think of peaceful negotiations over disputes or any other better means. The same thinking that paved the way for millions of deaths has the same potential to pave the way for development.

Africa remains in the bottom 25 ranking of the United Nations quality of life index. Most of the world’s poor are in Africa. Over 400 million people in Africa live on less than a dollar per day. In other words, 400 million people in Africa live in poverty which I primarily mentioned as a mindset. This is evident in most cases as we lack the initiative to change our situation, easily give up when faced with a challenge, and tend to only focus on risks and negative assumptions. This does not mean that citizens purposely choose to be poor while they are rich potentially. A given mindset develops from childhood of citizens and grows accordingly. This process begins during child-hood of our parents and grandparents. Most of us develop a mindset during child-hood that implies things will not work out for us both as individuals and as a nation. Mindsets are also often shaped by past experiences. For instance citizens that are often affected by disputes and conflicts like Mali, could face difficulty in developing a growth mindset of peace and stability. Citizens of a country that faced bankruptcy like Zimbabwe could develop a bankrupt mindset. Likewise, many African counties with past and current experiences of aid dependency could develop a dependent mindset.

This shows that if Africa’s root problem is citizen’s mindset, Africa’s problem can be resolved by renewing the minds of the people and developing a growth mindset. The growth mindset says, ‘I have a choice,’ ‘I cannot sit in my misery, ‘I will not remain in poverty,’ ‘I can change my life,’ ‘I can get more educated,’ ‘I can influence millions of people,’ ‘I have a contribution for my country’s growth’ and so forth. In my opinion, education can be used to change the mindset of the continent. According to Alfred Binet, the inventor of the IQ test, without denying individuals difference in intellect, education and practice could bring about fundamental changes in intelligence. Many African children today do not have access to sound education. In addition, most children who have access to education are only made to be rooted in academic knowledge without being uprooted from the wrong mindset they developed from their upbringing environment, culture, tradition and religion. Children and young people’s mindsets can be impacted by using the education system. Citizens need to be educated about their potential, civic rights, duties and democracy. Here, it is good to note that the majority of Africa’s population is made up of youth.

Also, the media has great potential to reach and transform the mindset of people. For many years, representation of Africa on the media has been dominated by crisis, war, conflict, famine, dictatorship, etc. Even worse, the media’s representation of Africa does not only affect the West but Africans self-image has profoundly been affected by the media to be only associated with poverty, war, sickness and corruption. This image has affected how citizens lead respective lives and how leaders lead respective countries. According to a research by Carol S. Dweck (PhD), a globally leading researcher in the field of motivation, ‘the view you adopt of yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you commit to and accomplish the things you value.’

The other area that builds growth mindsets is relationships. It is necessary to note here, that thoughts, feelings and ideas are contagious. Leaders for example, tend to become like the leaders they spend their time with. Continental meetings by organizations like the African Union Commission also have a great contribution in this regard. There are even chances that, leaders follow the same election process and set up similar policies much like other peer leaders. This is also true for citizens, who tend to remain quite against dictating leaderships for decades until an opportunity arises to change the mindset.  When one individual with a different mindset, like Mohamed Bouazizi, a young man in rural Tunisia has an idea to pour gasoline on himself to protest mistreatment by a government functionary and also a deep expression of helplessness in the face of a lack of opportunity, the entire citizens of Tunisia, follow-up on his idea to topple the ruler of the country. The same happened in Egypt and Libya within the last year. The individual’s idea, which is contagious, especially in this time of open and fast communication access such as social media, shall never be undermined.


In conclusion, in this time of celebrating the 50th anniversary of the African Union Commission, I believe, the Commission can play a great role in developing a growth mindset of citizens by transforming education systems, promoting good governance and exercising media freedom and democracy of the people. However, changes need to begin within, for an organization that relies heavily on external sources for funding cannot make independent decisions on policies, let alone create aid-independent countries. It is my wish that the 50th anniversary of the African Union Commission herald an era where citizens are changed by the transformation of their minds, develop a growth mindset that result in the growth of the continent.


(This article is also published on EchoAfrica magazine, Issue 3, 2013)

Monday, July 8, 2013

Why do we need to get married?



Why do people make big deal about getting married?

Well I bet it is not just in Ethiopia, that right after you graduate, family, relatives, friends ask you 'when are you planning to wed.' They keep asking, till you send them the wedding invitation. My friend calls it the FAQ, the Frequently Asked Question. For some of us the FAQ is more frequent than others :) 

I was reading the Bible and I came across this chapter in 1 Cor 7, and it makes me wonder why Christians today make big deal of marriage while Paul puts it as an option. On 1 Cor 7:25 it says, 'Now regarding your question about the young women who are not yet married'... (are you reading this young women? Okay just making sure:) ...' it is best to remain as you are' and it goes on addressing men who are not married yet, 'if you do not have a wife do not seek to get married. But if you get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin.' Hum.... I bet Christians today would rather say, 'if a young men/ women get married, it is a big blessing!' :) Seriously it got me thinking, why did Paul simplify marriage and say, ' oh sure ya, if  you get married it is okay, it is not a sin.?' 

Paul right away answers why he has this stand. 'However those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems.' v.26 This was written during the time believers were persecuted because of their faith, so getting married could add up to their troubles, as they also worry for their marriage partner.

Then the next verse starts with a word 'But..' Opposing word to the aforementioned verse!
'But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters; the time that remains is very short. So from now on those with wives should not focus only on their marriage. Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away.' V.30 Paul is saying this world will soon pass away, the time that remains is short, and the end of the world is near so it is better not to get married. My question is,  aren't we living in a time so much closer to the second coming of Jesus and to the end if the world? So I believe this teaching is as applicable to us as it is to the believers Paul wrote this message to first hand!

The church today, basically teaches on the importance of marriage, on how one could serve God better if in marriage, on how one is more blessed if married ... teachings of remaining single is out of option, and is considered as even not being blessed.

So unlike the church in our time, Paul considers remaining single as a better life style, and that is because; 'I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities (marriage is earthly responsibility!) and how to please his wife. His interests are divided(between serving God and fulfilling his responsibility in marriage). In the same way a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.' V.32-35  

Whether we are in relationship or not, the Bible tells us that 'It is important to ask ourselves, if getting married helps us serve the Lord best.' It is interesting; Paul is referring to marriage as a distraction from  serving the Lord! 

Paul then address the man who has a fiancé saying, ' if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry.' V. 37 As Paul stressed on importance of remaining single, he puts a condition, 'if he can control his passion! What is the point for a person to remain single in order to serve God better, but fall in sin of fornication because he/ she cannot control his/ her passion? Paul also refers to this idea, on verse 8 ' So I say to those who aren't married and to widows it is better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It is better to marry than to burn with lust.' On verse 38 it also says, 'So the person who marries his fiancé does well and the person who doesn't marry does even better.'

It is funny, I guess Paul knows, reading this we could say, 'oh it is just Paul's idea, God's will is for us to be married.' This is probably why he ends his thought saying, 'I am giving you council from God's spirit when I say this' v.40 :)

Don't get me wrong! Don't get Paul wrong! :) There are over 500 Old and New Testament references to the words 'marriage,'' married,' 'husband,' 'wife.' Marriage is designed and instituted by God; 
'The Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him, '...and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh." Gen. 2:18, 21-24

As much as marriage is designed by God, it is not the only option; remaining single is even a better option!!! 

Monday, July 1, 2013

10-7 years back

    I wrote these poems 10-7 years back , I have been having fun looking at old notebook lately!